For my birthday I got air in my lungs. The tracheotomy surgery was successful and the recovery process was virtually pain free. However, I didn't anticipate the moments that I would still struggle to breathe. In the week in the hospital if something could go wrong it did! I was not able to push a button to page the nurse. Instead, I had to wait until the alarm on my respirator sounded and wait for them to come.
I was in the Critical Care Unit. Each nurse had 3 patients to take care of on their shift. Each and every day my Sweetness (husband) would come and stay by my side. He knew how to set up my eye gaze computer so I could communicate and he was able to get me help ASAP! He would wait until the night nurse came on duty before he would leave. He made a note to explain my basic needs and showed them how to set up my computer.
In all honesty I was anxious when it was time for Lou to leave. I felt vulnerable, helpless, and scared of being alone. Would they listen to what Lou said, would they be too busy having to take care of others, would they be willing to spend the time to figure out how to communicate with me, and would they have a heart of compassion? I will never forget Savanna and Will. God sent them to care for me each night to demonstrate that He knew exactly how I was feeling.
The two of them would walk up and down the hallway all night stopping by my room each time to look in on me. They graciously changed my soiled bed pads and cleaned me up. They spent extra time to set up my computer so I could communicate with them. They faithfully adjusted me so I wouldn't get sores and propped me up with a half dozen of fluffy pillows head to toe. It was like they knew exactly what it felt like to be me!
This ALS journey keeps taking me to a greater understanding of the true need of my heart! I am physically not able to be left alone! Spiritually the same is true. God demonstrated in the hospital with the night staff that He was with me. Beyond my physical paralysis I have moments that catch me off guard and I can feel crippled, and unable to handle it! Every moment God is with me, waiting to provide and prove His faithfulness! I am never ALONE!
For I am the
Lord your God who takes hold of
your right hand and says to you,
Do not fear; I will help you.
Song : The New Life Singers From this Moment all Fulton 2011 Praise