I am not a big fan of change! I could maintain the same routine indefinitely and be perfectly content. Predictable feels safe and comfortable, to me! Dealing with the changes ALS brings, my honest first emotional responses are immature! I'm a visual learner and if I can't wrap my head around how things will work I have a tendency to want to quit ( technically freak out first and then quit ).
Several years ago I was wondering if I should stop working. My ALS started in my legs and I was increasingly accident prone. It was not safe for me to walk or time efficient for that matter. As I sat in church debating making the call to resign God had a different call for me to make. The sermon encouraged us to take advantage of God's provisions so that we could continue to serve. Instead of calling my boss that afternoon, I called Ed. He promptly delivered a beautiful candied apple red electric scooter for me to use (free of charge, but it bought me more time)!
This last Friday when I went to meet with my ALS Clinic team they suggested that I have surgery to install a vent in my throat. I was unsuccessful during my breathing test. The testing process requires facial muscle coordination, I have none!. I never fully enjoyed breathing in a tube when I went snorkeling back in the day. Now, the thought of breathing through a tube in my throat gives me the heebie jeebies!
I spent hours this week crying and trying to process this change. Finally, I have accepted that this is God's provision once again. It is not a beautiful scooter, a high tech wheelchair, a fabulous modified wheelchair accessible van or discreet feeding tube. However, a vent would allow me to stay in the game! I'm still not sure how all this will work but I'm confident that I will continue to see God at work. I will simply have more opportunities to tell you about it!
Verse Deb Gitto emailed me this week: Eph. 1:3
All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly
realms because we are united with Christ.
Song sent to me by my mom. My life is God's!
He gave up everything for me!
How Many Kings