Before I was married, at 34, I actually never prayed for the Lord to give me a husband. I wanted to be married but if I prayed I would expect that the Lord would provide. As a result I would end up looking at every single guy that walked by as a potential answer to my prayer. I fully believed that God could provide, my issue was when. Not wanting to be creepy or come across desperate I prayed in a different way! I prayed that God would help me make the most of my time being single and that He would prepare me in the process. God did!
Today I have found myself spending the quiet moments of my days praying for my family and friends! Your spiritual, emotional and physical needs are in my daily prayers! Ironically, when I get to me I smile. Yes, I want God to take away my ALS, for things to be easier and to be able to physically be the wife and mommy I am in my dreams. However, the prayer that comes out is, "USE ME."
I smile. Not because I am joking, but because I'm reluctant to say, "use me," to anyone. As a little girl I would eagerly volunteer or sign up to participate. The older I got, the more guarded I became. To be "used" had negative connotations.
To pray for God to USE ME says it best ! He will never take advantage of me or manipulate me. Even though what God is asking of me might not be my first choice I want my life to be filled with purpose! Going through a struggle makes me more intentionally. Time is precious! I don't want to simply pray that God makes me better and then mentally checkout and wait for that to happen. I want to be a little girl. When God asks for a volunteer, I want to be the first one to raise my hand. "USE ME!"
Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?”
I said, “Here I am. Send me.”